A hook up? Huh? Hook up who? Oh YOU want a hook up? Now, why exactly should I give you a hook up? Who are you again? I mean, are we related? Uhhhh, no. Are you dating one of my relatives? Uhhhh, no again. Oh wait, we must have went to school together right? No? Not even an old school mate. Ok, ok, ok, then I must know you from an old job. Has to be that. We never worked together? Are you sure?
Ok, let me process this real quick......................
So you mean to tell me, that I should give you a hook up all because you have the balls to ask me for a hook up? You do realize I don't know you from a hole in the wall right???? Ok, just checking.
To hear you tell it, giving you the hook up is going to benefit ME. Really now? Oh please, continue.
Hmmm, well after carefully listening to you tell me how my cake being at YOUR party will get a lot of exposure and a whole lot of business will come. I really must say, "Nah, no hook up, just give me my money".
Tomorrow isn't promised so please kindly pay me today!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Saturday, May 7, 2011
I need that drug you on.....
This is going to be a short and sweet one. No fake story to give you a visual of what I'm talking about. I'm sure you don't need one.
Common sense is NOT common and pretty cakes AIN'T cheap! Simple mathematics. Multiplication actually. Math is not my strong suit but I can put some sticks together and add them up. I can also calculate how much money I should be getting for these fine ass cakes I make too! As with anything, you get what you pay for. You pay a crappy price, you get a crappy product.........Ask those people who buy their Coach bags from Canal St in NYC.
Ok ok ok, so I lied....I HAVE to give you an example. Here's a story of a customer, we'll call her, Jennifer Alison Cathy Katrina Adams-Stanley-Singer.
JJennifer Alison Cathy Katrina Adams-Stanley-Singer needs a cake....lets say for a wedding. Its a milestone event so everyone should be out to attend. Jennifer Alison Cathy Katrina Adams-Stanley-Singer(going forward we'll use her initials) states she needs a cake to feed about 200-250 (cha-ching!) She needs a pretty basic cake but a fancy filling, we'll say raspberries for this "fake" story. After further discussion budget comes up and J.A.C.K.A.S.S(what? those are her initials) states she was looking to spend about $200-$250. So here goes the finagling. J.A.C.K.A.S.S(stop looking at me like that...those are her initials!!!) order a smaller cake that is $200-$250 and get a "plain" sheet cake along with it. **Blank Stare**(go back to 1st post for description of "blank stare"). Now how in the hells shes adding I don't know. Of course J.A.C.K.A.S.S claims she will call back....hopefully she never does. Walmart Bakery can have her!
So moving back onto math, in the fourth grade we learned about "solving problems". This here was a problem and unless she had more money, we wouldn't be able to solve it!
Quick math: 200 X $1= $200. 250 X $1 = $250
Don't know where you're at but I don't know of any bakery in my imaginary Bakerville world where you can get a cake for $1 per slice. You can barely find a cupcake for that! The average slice is about $3.50-$6 per slice and this is not even a cake that is covered in that pretty looking stuff called "fondant". Tack on some more for those types of cakes.
So to make my long story that was supposed to be a short story, short........keep trying to find "that deal" and you're gonna find "that deal". As with any business you will find people that you can get quality from and you can find people you can just get something to look at from. And even then, its not much to look at.
Happy cake shopping....don't be a cheapskate! Or should I say "cheapsCake"!?!?! And make sure you are not under the influence of what ever the hell Jennifer Alison Cathy Katrina Adams-Stanley-Singer aka J.A.C.K.A.S.S was under!
Common sense is NOT common and pretty cakes AIN'T cheap! Simple mathematics. Multiplication actually. Math is not my strong suit but I can put some sticks together and add them up. I can also calculate how much money I should be getting for these fine ass cakes I make too! As with anything, you get what you pay for. You pay a crappy price, you get a crappy product.........Ask those people who buy their Coach bags from Canal St in NYC.
Ok ok ok, so I lied....I HAVE to give you an example. Here's a story of a customer, we'll call her, Jennifer Alison Cathy Katrina Adams-Stanley-Singer.
JJennifer Alison Cathy Katrina Adams-Stanley-Singer needs a cake....lets say for a wedding. Its a milestone event so everyone should be out to attend. Jennifer Alison Cathy Katrina Adams-Stanley-Singer(going forward we'll use her initials) states she needs a cake to feed about 200-250 (cha-ching!) She needs a pretty basic cake but a fancy filling, we'll say raspberries for this "fake" story. After further discussion budget comes up and J.A.C.K.A.S.S(what? those are her initials) states she was looking to spend about $200-$250. So here goes the finagling. J.A.C.K.A.S.S(stop looking at me like that...those are her initials!!!) order a smaller cake that is $200-$250 and get a "plain" sheet cake along with it. **Blank Stare**(go back to 1st post for description of "blank stare"). Now how in the hells shes adding I don't know. Of course J.A.C.K.A.S.S claims she will call back....hopefully she never does. Walmart Bakery can have her!
So moving back onto math, in the fourth grade we learned about "solving problems". This here was a problem and unless she had more money, we wouldn't be able to solve it!
Quick math: 200 X $1= $200. 250 X $1 = $250
Don't know where you're at but I don't know of any bakery in my imaginary Bakerville world where you can get a cake for $1 per slice. You can barely find a cupcake for that! The average slice is about $3.50-$6 per slice and this is not even a cake that is covered in that pretty looking stuff called "fondant". Tack on some more for those types of cakes.
So to make my long story that was supposed to be a short story, short........keep trying to find "that deal" and you're gonna find "that deal". As with any business you will find people that you can get quality from and you can find people you can just get something to look at from. And even then, its not much to look at.
Happy cake shopping....don't be a cheapskate! Or should I say "cheapsCake"!?!?! And make sure you are not under the influence of what ever the hell Jennifer Alison Cathy Katrina Adams-Stanley-Singer aka J.A.C.K.A.S.S was under!
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